Quiet time

With five kiddies and a hubby, I don't get much quiet time. In fact, alone time is a premium commodity in this house. But, this weekend, the older three went to their dad's house and hubby went out of town and took one with him... which leaves me home alone with just the baby! Woohoooo! Of course, this is not absolute alone time as I'm still responsible for another human being, but it's probably about as close as I'm going to get for a while so I'm trying to enjoy it. He's nearly six months old now, old enough to enjoy some tummy time rolling around in the floor while mommy surfs the web and blogs... er, I mean, studies for her pharm quiz on Monday...

I've only got a few more hours really, as I have to leave to go pick up the older kidlets this afternoon, but man oh man the house sure is quiet this morning! It's nice because it's novel, but honestly I'm not sure I'd know what to do with myself if I woke up to this quietness every morning. I'm accustomed to chaos I guess.

Tomorrow I go for a pulmonary function test, and Wed. I go back to see the pulmonary specialist. I suspect he'll say the same thing he did last time. Your lungs still sound like crap. We still don't know what's wrong. Stay on the prednisone and let us know if you get any worse. That'll be $350 please. I'm so very frustrated and really wish they could just find something on some test somewhere, anything, just to know what's wrong! I don't know if I'll ever get better, and I've been trying to make adjustments so that I can at least live my life like this, but it's hard as HELL. When you can't breathe, nothing else matters, that's the bottom line! I can't go hiking or walking with the kids, can't chase them around the yard, play baseball, soccer, run up and down the stairs for the stuff they've forgotten, etc. It is very frustrating to say the least. It's affecting me mentally despite the fact that I fight it and try to convince myself that i'm a little better today than I was yesterday... I'm still feeling the depression, the apathy, the don't-give-a-shit attitude. But I'll keep fighting for now, it's all I can do. Hope they find something...